Having a Baby in Germany, Part I

This is the first of a two part series on my experiences with child birth in a foreign country. I promise to not give too many details.

Having a baby, you would think is pretty much the same in every country. This was not my experience. First, I need you to see the most gorgeous little girl ever here. She was my third, and I wasn't exactly over the moon to be expecting again. Alas, I am completely in love now.

As far as OB care goes I was very happy. I chose the doctor that I had heard the most about. In Mannheim. In Heidelberg. Personal reference is best. I saw Dr. Lauk, whose office is only a stone's throw away from that water tower up there. (Be advised that his website is 90% correct English, but him and at least one of his staff speak impeccable English) You can also find him here, although I would caution you against reading this page's FAQs while pregnant. It may induce uncontrollable crying while at work. Interesting though.

Let me give you a bit of my history: 1st child born early b/c of preeclampsia, 2nd baby born late and almost 10 pounds. Not a good track record. Because of situation 1 I  had about 6-7 ultrasounds (and they still had the sex wrong). This, to me, was a lot! Baby 2 I had the normal American ultrasounds: one to confirm the pregnancy and one at 20 weeks to see things like the lungs and the heart chambers. This is about the most a 'normal' pregnancy would get in the US. He had a lot of breathing problems when he was born though.

In the spirit of honesty, I was very angry to find out I was pregnant this go around. I was alone and finally getting my career back on track too (infinitely more difficult than I ever imagined). Who would want to bring a child into an already bad situation? So, I was about 12 weeks when I went to see my doctor. I felt comfortable almost immediately . They did a urine test - for a whole lot more than a bladder infection - and the normal weight/blood pressure check. This actually surprised me - they put me in an office to meet him before the exam. Why was this strange? We went over my medical history then he did the normal well woman exam minus the breast exam (also strange). He gave me an abdominal ultrasound.

This is where it gets weird. He said he wanted to see me back in 3 weeks. I assumed this was b/c I tried to pretend that it wasn't happening and my mental state was just not good. The next time I was there the same thing: ultrasound and see you in 3 weeks. On my third visit I decided that I should inquire about this strangeness. He told me that anything less was just not enough. I thought this was great. I have an -un-American appreciation for conservative health care.

Fast forward to the fall: my stubborn child was breech. OMG, I was so scarred. I remember sitting in his office in mental overload. On that day I had also gotten some really bad news about my son's genetic vision loss. After everything that happened to me in 2011 I could not take anymore. I was terrified about this child having issues too. I desperately wanted something to go right for me.

Now, I had heard that German doctors do not deliver babies, midwives do. As you can see here that is not true for this guy.  To say that I was terrified of having another child with potential problems was an understatement. When he was trying to explain to me how the birth would happen I remember watching him, but not hearing him. I did make him promise that he would be there for me when it was time. He did this without any hesitation. I literally could not think, so it took a couple days for the barrage of questions to flood my mind. He had given me his handy number and told me to call if I needed to talk. I called and still only felt a fraction better. Being told on Friday that you would be birthing a breech baby on Monday is a LONG time to be inside your own head. However, I trusted my physician, and this made me feel good about a less than ideal situation.

Manheim Pfenning Bazaar

Wahoo! I found out about the Pfenning Bazaar in Mannheim. Check it out here.

Wordless Wednesdays: Oktoberfest

Fake It Till You Make It - Language Edition

Fake it till you make it. Good motto, no? Who needs to know anyway? This is what I tell myself about speaking German. I can understand like 65% of what I hear, but am terrified to make it come out. I must sound like a 5 year old. Reading is even more difficult, but definitely getting easier. :) I thought I'd share a few strategies I use in learning a foreign language:

1. Listen. German radio has a lot of talking and the news/traffic reports. I listen at the office and in the car (I can always switch to Drowning Pool when necessary). I've gotten very good at the traffic: Stau=bad traffic Stuttgart=Stau Got it? In 2010 I was working in the office that all incoming personnel, family members and local national workers had to go through to get base access. A few people assumed I could speak German - no way! I also got good at saying 'Right index finger, Left index finger. Sign here, there are three copies.'

2. Read. Yes, as much as possible. My choice is children's books. I want my kids to learn German too. Kids books are simple, and familiar. My favorite right now is Der Gruffalo. It's so much fun to read in either language. I find books very cheap at the library sales, the second hand stores and Flohmarkts (both the normal ones and ones for kids). Sometimes we trade with friends too. At the librar I've found books with German on one side and English on the other (Diary of a Wimpy Kid).

3. Magazines. Celebrity mags are great, but I always feel a little guilty buying them. These are good b/c the captions are just snippets, small bits of info at a time. I also like the little newspaper like mags for women. I forgot the name of the one in the US, you know it's like a buck or two and there is always a fad diet on the front. Yes, that one. There is a German version too. Not so much the diet part, but it has lots of recipes, fashion and feel good stories. I usually don't read everything, just what catches my eye (the same with English mags).

4. Bulletin Boards. Lots of stores and gathering place have boards that people can sell or post things they are looking for. Handwriting is still handwriting, but there are always print outs too. If I don't have time to figure everything out I will just snap a pic and look at home when I have more time. I've found flohmarkts, and classes for the kids this way.

5. German Textbooks. I bought about 3-4 language programs. None are great, but they give you a heads up. I prefer ones with a cd b/c pronunciation is hard! I also have a few vocabulary books. Rosetta Stone is available to AKO users - only service members and DOD employees. Mission Europe is fun too.

6. Forcing yourself in uncomfortable situations. Would you say something in an awkward silence. Absolutely! If I would say something in English, then I should say the same thing in German. I've been ignored and answered in English. Not so good for self confidence, but at least an attempt was made. I also love to shop for produce at farm stores. German, at least a little, is a must here. I have been know to mix English/French/German all together. I've even used sign language - this brought enormous amounts of laughter from my ex husband.

7. Dictionary. I have one, but prefer the free translator app. It's great while you're out, but is only useful for small blocks of text.

8. Language schools. I took a couple classes at the Viernheim VHS (Die Volkshochschule-night school) a few years ago. These are fabulous for the price, extremely reasonable. I think a 6 or 8 week class, 2 nights a week is about 60 Euro. I believe all or most cities have a VHS. There are more expensive and intensive schools: Goethe Institute, Berlitz, F + U Academy, Heidelberger Paedagogium. There are plenty others. If you want more info let me know.

I believe this is about all. What are you doing? To those of you that have mastered a second language what advise can you give to the rest of us?

Das Ausberger Kasperle

Das Augsburger Kasperle is coming to Heidelberg! No, I have not seen the show. I  believe it to be a little puppet show. They check out their website for pics, but it didn't work well with my machine.

Tomorrow they will be in Schwetzingen at the Messplatz. Show times are 11 and 3pm. Then they are moving to the Heidelberg Messplatz from 23 - 29 January. Shows are at 3 pm everyday and 11 on Sunday.

Ticket pricing are a little in question. Their site says that kids day is 5 Euro and on family days adults pay child admission prices. Hopefully I can walk over there and find out for sure. If you go give us all a review!

Dining Out with the Mums

Tonight I had the chance to go out to dinner with a group of mom friends. I have just one question: How do German restaurants stay in business? In America you go in, eat, then leave and someone else will take your place. In Germany they love long leisurely meals with great conversation. This is wonderful unless you 1) have children or 2) have to get home to your children. Maybe going out to dinner is more of an occasion here than my typical 'I don't want to cook, meet you at restaurant X after work.'

I've had to ask for our food to be brought, and you always have to ask for the check. A few months ago I had gotten a rather large group of people together for a steak dinner. We sat there for like 4 hours. It was very enjoyable; we took up 2 of their tables. Our bill was a couple hundred Euros, but surely they need to sell more to sustain a business.

Tonight, there was 6 tables and one take out that I saw (we were the only party more than two). I was there from 7:45 to 11 pm. I was early for the reservation, so I walked around a bit. I passed Asian and Italian restaurants and a bar/restaurant in a very nice hotel. None of these establishments had patrons. On a Friday night. On the way back to the tram I walked the same route. You guessed it: only a handful of people at the Sushi bar. I don't think they had a deluge of customers while I was at the Indian place.

So, my question is: How do German restaurants stay in business???? If you know something that I don't please tell me! What is a dining out experience like where you live?

Wordless Wednesdays: My first carrott!

2012 Pfenning Bazaar

*****UPDATE:  Mannheim Pfenning Bazaar will be at the Rosengarten on Feb 2-4. The hours will be Feb 2 10-1800, Feb 3 11-1800, and Feb 4 10-1400. Happy Shopping!*****


Every year the German American Women's Club sponsors the Pfenning (Penny) Bazaar. Its basically one huge yard sale. I mean huge. The club takes the donations to fund various projects. I know they do a lot with kids.

Before we go any further, I know that there is one in the Rosengarten in Mannheim (also across the street from the Water Tower). I can't seem to find any info on it though. Even though the bases in Mannheim are rapidly closing I believe that the club is intact and will have a sale. It was always mostly German women anyway. If you have any info on them please let me know.

The sale in Heidelberg will be Feb 23-25 (11-1800, 10-1800, 10-1400). The collection days will be Feb 18, 9-1500, and Feb 20 from 10-1400. This year they are taking donations of clothing, home textiles, linen, curtains, shoes, jewellery, toys, hats, scarves, gloves, belts, books, records, CDs, DVDs and Videos. They are NOT taking electric appliances, porcelain dishes, tableware, glass ware, vases, bathroom rugs, flatware and cutlery, plastic/wooden items, flower pots, winter sport clothing, pictures/paintings, home decoration items, quiltsbaskets, baby carriage/umbrella strollers, furniture, computers and monthly magazines.

Let's talk about the good stuff. If you like the weekend markets then you should like this one. There is so much stuff in one place it is almost overwhelming. The prices are reasonable; just remember it is a charitable organization. If you volunteer to go help sort everything out then they will let you shop before you leave. Big discounts too.  Be prepared to dig for your treasures.

If you go:
Internationale Gesamtschule (IGH), Baden-Badener Straße 14
Entrance: Erlenweg, 69126 Heidelberg Hasenleiser

This is the school that is used as the start hall of the annual Heidelberg Volksmarch. It is behind Nachrichten Kassern, where the American clinic is located.

Donations accepted:  Feb 18, 9-1500, and Feb 20 from 10-1400
Sale dates: Feb 23-25 (11-1800, 10-1800, 10-1400)

Let me know what you find!!

German Health Care

Being affiliated with the American military means that my family receives our health care from the American clinic on base. Most of the time when you need a specialist you will see a German doctor. This can be intimidating if you don’t speak the language, but I feel comfortable with them. To paint a broad stroke German health care is a lot more conservative than American care. What does this mean?

In July 2010 my son fell at a playground. It was obvious he had a head injury. He was not put in an ambulance and taken to the nearest hospital; instead he was sent via helicopter with a doctor on board instead of first responders. This would have been great except it took them an hour and 45 minutes to finally get him there.

At the kinder klinik they told me he had a very bad concussion. He wasn’t even three, and I wasn’t sure if he was going to make it or not. He finally woke up a few hours later. I’m pretty sure that I was saying the Rosary the whole time. As a mother I do not want my children to hurt, ever. I assumed they would give him acetaminophen (Tylenol). They gave him NOTHING! The explanation was that they wanted to see his behavior without medicine. I appreciate their point of view, but nothing at all? Poor little guy!!

Other differences, that I have personally experienced, are that hospital stays are generally longer, the food is better, not all gynecologists give you something to cover with and, the biggest one, is that the doctors take their time at your appointment and listen to you. (This is just my experience! I am not a fan of Army health care.) I don’t know if that is necessarily a German thing, or that I just really liked my OB doc. He made me feel very comfortable and indulged my lists of questions. But, he did laugh when I asked what to do if they baby came at home. :)

My oldest son has a vision loss. We waited months to see the person we were told was the best in all of Germany for this sort of thing. It took hours and many, many tests to get a diagnosis. This doctor sat with me and explained what was happening and what would happen in the future. He answered my questions and continued with things I hadn’t even thought of. I appreciated that the time I had was mine and I was not rushed.

This is truly funny: twice I was asked where I was from and both doctors knew my city in Louisiana. Random.

One last thing, if a German doc tells you that they do not speak English well they probably speak better than most Americans. Only once have I been at an appt and the doc did not speak English. I am comfortable enough with German that it wasn’t a problem. All he wanted to talk about was New Orleans.

What have your experiences been like? Do you have any advice for the rest of us?

Wordless Wednesdays: In my future?